Codependents would rather stay in the pain of a relationship because of the fear of facing the pain if they lose it.
The tragic irony is that in staying, the pain will continue indefinitely. Whereas if they left, sure it would hurt and be a challenge. It would require dedication and resilience.
A few months of being vigilant and not giving in to the ‘tweaking compulsion’ to go back to their drug of choice (being a relationship that depletes them). And soon enough, the pain would pass.
They would feel a renewed sense of well-being, autonomy and personal power. Relieved to have made the brave choice and with their eyes now open, they will be fully clear about never wanting to put themselves through that again.
If they stay, the pain will be eternal. There is no end to it. But if they go, the pain will be purifying. It will end, and they will be better off for it.
I say all this from personal experience and send love and strength to anyone who finds themselves in this position.
You got this. You’re strong, worthy and deserving of a love that sees you, respects you and reciprocates equally with you.