In August 2019, completely unexpectedly, I had a massive and inexplicable Kundalini Awakening. After years of avoiding all things spiritual, I had no idea that my efficient path of self-regulation and recovery was going to lead me straight back into the arms of God. I had no idea that the path of self-recovery was actually the path of enlightenment.
But this God is nothing like the one I knew in religion. That one is a false god but this One, is as true as truth itself. A Divinity I know personally, within me. An unfathomable love that permeates beyond dogma and institutions.
My kundalini awakening led to an escalation in integration of the self. I opened into my Shamanic capabilities, and the spiritual experiences that I had and I continue to have are deeply real and personal. It’s a visceral, experiential and undeniable connection to the Supreme Creator who dwells and speaks from my heart.
Beatific? For sure, but it was also a hallway of inner mirrors. An increased face-off with my inner demons or ego illusions. A carnival of my own pathologies. The Kundalini energy is no walk in the park. One can easily get stuck in their own sense of power. The fire of the creative, sexual energy and one’s own burning desires can easily be mistaken for true North. When in fact, it’s the climax of the movie of your life and a face-off with your deepest ego desire. What you believe is North, is usually South. And the thing you want the most is not the thing God wants to give you.
Can you let that foundational attachment go? The one that you would be lost without? A Kundalini Awakening is like going through ‘crunch time’ with the self. It’s make or break and thankfully I had 10 years of recovery tools to help me through the process.
A heightened journey of continuous surrendering, the Kundalini Power asked me to give Her every, single ego identification. At first I thought she was taking them from me, but then I came to realise that I couldn’t take my eyes off Her. The path was so purifying. Each time I threw a false identification on to Her ego pyre, I was liberated into a higher state of being. Less of me and more of She.